Romeo and Juliet of Tulsa
by A.tmosphere 03
Summary: You know the story of Romeo and Juliet, two star-crossed lovers blah, blah... But you've never heard it quite like this! Are you a greaser or a Soc? Pick your side and come along for an all-time adventure in this parody. Based off of Shakespeare's play.


**(A/N): This is my newest creation, and I hope you like it ;). Please, if you will, comment and critique. That is the best part about reviews! Have fun reading…!**

**-03**

I don't own anything. William Shakespeare and S.E. Hinton are the only ones that do. I just borrow.

* * *

You know the story of Romeo and Juliet – two star-crossed lovers blah, blah, blah…. Etc, etc. But you have never heard it quite like this! Are you a greaser or a Soc? Pick your side and come along for all-time adventure in this parody "Romeo and Juliet of Tulsa." Follows Shakespeare's play.

-Cast List for Act 1 Scene 1-

**_*NOTE: I do not intend these to be parings (really, Sylivia and Darrel? Eww!). I just randomly picked characters to parts (trying to fit everybody in!) and these are subject-to-change!_**

**Narrator**

Me

**Socs**

Sampson: a random Soc

Gregory: a random Soc

Tybalt: Bob Sheldon

Lady Soc: Marcia

Soc: Randy

**Greasers**

Abraham: Curly Shepard

Balthasar: Tim Shepard

Benvolio: Ponyboy Curtis

Lady Greaser: Sylvia

Greaser: Darrel Curtis

Romeo: Sodapop Curtis

**The Royal Drunks of Tulsa **

Prince: Buck Merril

_*NOTE: I do not intend these to be parings (really, Sylivia and Darrel? Eww!). I just randomly picked characters to parts (trying to fit everybody in!) and these are subject-to-change!_

_**

* * *

**_

_**Prologue**_

**ME**

Two social classes, both unalike in dignity,  
In fair Tulsa, where we lay our scene,  
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,  
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.  
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes  
A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life;  
Whole misadventured piteous overthrows  
Do with their death bury their gangs strife.  
The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love,  
And the continuance of their gang's rage,  
Which, but their members end, nought could remove,  
Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage;  
The which if you with patient ears attend,  
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

_**Scene I: The Dingo**_

_Enter **SAMPSON** and **GREGORY** of the house of the Socs with switchblades and beer bottles_

**SAMPSON **  
Gregory, o' my word, we'll not carry exposed alcohol.

**GREGORY **  
No, for then we should be alcoholics.

**SAMPSON **  
Ay, thou art an alcoholic.

**GREGORY**  
Ay, while you live, draw your bottle out o' thy pocket.

**SAMPSON**  
I drink quickly, being moved.

**GREGORY **  
But thou art not quickly moved to drink.

**SAMPSON **  
A dog of the house of greasers moves me.

**GREGORY **  
To move is to stir; and to be valiant is to stand:  
therefore, if thou art moved, thou runn'st away.

**SAMPSON **  
A dog of that house shall move me to stand: I will  
take the wall of any man or maid of greaser's.

**GREGORY **  
That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest goes  
to the wall.

**SAMPSON **  
True; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels,  
are ever thrust to the wall: therefore I will push  
greaser's men from the wall, and thrust his maids  
to the wall.

**GREGORY **  
The quarrel is between our masters and us their men.

**SAMPSON**  
'Tis all one, I will show myself a tyrant: when I  
have fought with the men, I will be cruel with the  
maids, and cut off their heads.

**GREGORY**  
The heads of the maids?

**SAMPSON **  
Ay, the heads of the maids, or their maidenheads;  
take it in what sense thou wilt.

**GREGORY**  
They must take it in sense that feel it.

**SAMPSON **  
Me they shall feel while I am able to stand: and  
'tis known I am a pretty piece of flesh.

**GREGORY **  
'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou  
hadst been poor John. Draw thy switchblade! here comes  
two of the house of the greasers.

**SAMPSON **  
My naked weapon is out: quarrel, I will back thee.

**GREGORY**  
How! turn thy back and run?

**SAMPSON  
**Fear me not.

**GREGORY**  
No, marry; I fear thee!

**SAMPSON**  
Let us take the law of our sides; let them begin.

**GREGORY**  
I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as  
they list.

**SAMPSON **  
Nay, as they dare. I will draw thy middle finger;  
which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.

_Enter **ABRAHAM** and _**_BALTHASAR_ **  
**  
ABRAHAM **  
Do you wave your middle finger at us, sir?

**SAMPSON **  
I do wave my middle finger, sir.

**ABRAHAM **  
Do you wave your middle finger at us, sir?

**SAMPSON**  
[Aside to GREGORY] Is the law of our side, if I say  
ay?

**GREGORY **  
No.  
**  
SAMPSON**  
No, sir, I do not wave my middle finger at you, sir, but I  
wave my middle finger, sir.

**GREGORY **  
Do you quarrel, sir?

**ABRAHAM **  
Quarrel sir! No, sir.

**SAMPSON **  
If you do, sir, I am for you: I serve as good a man as you.

**ABRAHAM **  
No better.

**SAMPSON **  
Well, sir.  
**  
GREGORY**  
Say 'better:' here comes one of my master's kinsmen.

**SAMPSON **  
Yes, better, sir.

**ABRAHAM **  
You lie.

**SAMPSON**  
Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy swashing blow.

_They use their switchblades like swords to fight._

_Enter **BENVOLIO**_

**BENVOLIO**  
Part, fools!  
Put up your blades; you know not what you do.

_Beats down their switchblades_

_Enter **TYBALT**_

**TYBALT**  
What, art thou drawn among these heartless hinds?  
Turn thee, Benvolio, look upon thy death.

**BENVOLIO **  
I do but keep the peace: put up thy blade,  
Or manage it to part these men with me.

**TYBALT **  
What, drawn, and talk of peace! I hate the word,  
As I hate hell, all greasers, and thee:  
Have at thee, coward!

_They fight_

_Enter, several of both houses, who join the fray; then enter Citizens, with broken bottles and brooms_

**First Citizen **  
Broken bottles, brooms and partisans! Strike! Beat them down!  
Down with the Socs! Down with the greasers!

Enter SOC in his mustang, and LADY SOC

**SOC**  
What noise is this? Give me my long switchblade, ho!

**LADY SOC**  
A crutch, a crutch! Why call you for a blade?

**SOC**  
Mys witchblade, I say! Old greaser is come,  
And flourishes his blade in spite of me.

_Enter **GREASER **and **LADY GREASER**_

**GREASER**  
Thou villain Soc,--Hold me not, let me go.  
**  
LADY GREASER**  
Thou shalt not stir a foot to seek a foe.

_Enter **PRINCE**, with Attendants_

**PRINCE **  
Rebellious subjects, enemies to peace,  
Profaners of this neighbour-stained steel,--  
Will they not hear? What, ho! You men, you beasts,  
That quench the fire of your pernicious rage  
With purple fountains issuing from your veins,  
On pain of torture, from those bloody hands  
Throw your mistemper'd weapons to the ground,  
And hear the sentence of your moved prince.  
Three civil brawls, bred of an airy word,  
By thee, old Soc, and greaser,  
Have thrice disturb'd the quiet of our streets,  
And made Tulsa's delinquent citizens  
Cast by their grave beseeming ornaments,  
To wield old partisans, in hands as old,  
Canker'd with peace, to part your canker'd hate:  
If ever you disturb our streets again,  
Your lives shall pay the forfeit of the peace.  
For this time, all the rest depart away:  
You Soc; shall go along with me:  
And, greaser, come you this afternoon,  
To know our further pleasure in this case,  
To old Free-town, our common judgment-place.  
Once more, on pain of death, all men depart.

_Exeunt all but **GREASER**, **LADY GREASER**, and **BENVOLIO**_

**GREASER**  
Who set this ancient quarrel new abroach?  
Speak, were you by when it began?  
**  
BENVOLIO **  
Here were the servants of your adversary,  
And yours, close fighting ere I did approach:  
I drew to part them: in the instant came  
The fiery Tybalt, with his sword prepared,  
Which, as he breathed defiance to my ears,  
He swung about his head and cut the winds,  
Who nothing hurt withal hiss'd him in scorn:  
While we were interchanging thrusts and blows,  
Came more and more and fought on part and part,  
Till the prince came, who parted either part.

**LADY GREASER**  
O, where is Romeo? saw you him today?  
Right glad I am he was not at this fray.

**BENVOLIO **  
Madam, an hour before the worshipp'd sun  
Peer'd forth the golden window of the east,  
A troubled mind drave me to walk abroad;  
Where, underneath the grove of sycamore  
That westward rooteth from the city's side,  
So early walking did I see your Romeo:  
Towards him I made, but he was ware of me  
And stole into the covert of the wood:  
I, measuring his affections by my own,  
That most are busied when they're most alone,  
Pursued my humor not pursuing his,  
And gladly shunn'd who gladly fled from me.

**GREASER**  
Many a morning hath he there been seen,  
With tears augmenting the fresh morning dew.  
Adding to clouds more clouds with his deep sighs;  
But all so soon as the all-cheering sun  
Should in the furthest east begin to draw  
The shady curtains from Aurora's bed,  
Away from the light steals home my heavy Romeo,  
And private in his chamber pens himself,  
Shuts up his windows, locks far daylight out  
And makes himself an artificial night:  
Black and portentous must this humor prove,  
Unless good counsel may the cause remove.

**BENVOLIO **  
My noble leader, do you know the cause?

**GREASER  
**I neither know it nor can learn of him.

**BENVOLIO  
**Have you importuned him by any means?

**GREASER**  
Both by myself and many other friends:  
But he, his own affections' counselor,  
Is to himself--I will not say how true--  
But to himself so secret and so close,  
So far from sounding and discovery,  
As is the bud bit with an envious worm,  
Ere he can spread his sweet leaves to the air,  
Or dedicate his beauty to the sun.  
Could we but learn from whence his sorrows grow.  
We would as willingly give cure as know.

_Enter **ROMEO**_

**BENVOLIO **  
See, where he comes: so please you, step aside;  
I'll know his grievance, or be much denied.

**GREASER**  
I would thou wert so happy by thy stay,  
To hear true shrift. Come, madam, let's away.

_Exeunt **GREASER** and **LADY GREASER**_

**BENVOLIO **  
Good-morrow, brother

**ROMEO **  
Is the day so young?

**BENVOLIO **  
But new struck nine.

**ROMEO**  
Ay me! Sad hours seem long.  
Was that Darry that went hence so fast?

**BENVOLIO **  
It was. What sadness lengthens Romeo's hours?

**ROMEO **  
Not having that, which, having, makes them short.

**BENVOLIO **  
In love?

**ROMEO **  
Out--

**BENVOLIO **  
Of love?

**ROMEO **  
Out of her favor, where I am in love.

**BENVOLIO **  
Alas, that love, so gentle in his view,  
Should be so tyrannous and rough in proof!

**ROMEO **  
Alas, that love, whose view is muffled still,  
Should, without eyes, see pathways to his will!  
Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here?  
Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all.  
Here's much to do with hate, but more with love.  
Why, then, O brawling love! O loving hate!  
O any thing, of nothing first create!  
O heavy lightness! Serious vanity!  
Mis-shapen chaos of well-seeming forms!  
Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire,  
sick health!  
Still-waking sleep, that is not what it is!  
This love feel I, that feel no love in this.  
Dost thou not laugh?  
**  
BENVOLIO  
**No, bro, I rather weep.

**ROMEO **  
Good heart, at what?

**BENVOLIO **  
At thy good heart's oppression.

**ROMEO **  
Why, such is love's transgression.  
Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast,  
Which thou wilt propagate, to have it prest  
With more of thine: this love that thou hast shown  
Doth add more grief to too much of mine own.  
Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;  
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;  
Being vex'd a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears:  
What is it else? a madness most discreet,  
A choking gall and a preserving sweet.  
Farewell, my brother.

**BENVOLIO**  
Soft! I will go along;  
An if you leave me so, you do me wrong.

**ROMEO **  
Tut, I have lost myself; I am not here;  
This is not Romeo, he's some other where.  
**  
BENVOLIO **  
Tell me in sadness, who is that you love.

**ROMEO **  
What, shall I groan and tell thee?

**BENVOLIO **  
Groan! Why, no.  
But sadly tell me who.

**ROMEO **  
Bid a sick man in sadness make his will:  
Ah, word ill urged to one that is so ill!  
In sadness, brother, I do love a woman.  
**  
BENVOLIO**  
I aim'd so near, when I supposed you loved.

**ROMEO **  
A right good mark-man! And she's fair I love.

**BENVOLIO **  
A right fair mark, fair bro, is soonest hit.

**ROMEO **  
Well, in that hit you miss: she'll not be hit  
With Cupid's arrow; she hath Dian's wit;  
And, in strong proof of chastity well arm'd,  
From love's weak childish bow she lives unharm'd.  
She will not stay the siege of loving terms,  
Nor bide the encounter of assailing eyes,  
Nor ope her lap to saint-seducing gold:  
O, she is rich in beauty, only poor,  
That when she dies with beauty dies her store.

**BENVOLIO **  
Then she hath sworn that she will still live chaste?

**ROMEO **  
She hath, and in that sparing makes huge waste,  
For beauty starved with her severity  
Cuts beauty off from all posterity.  
She is too fair, too wise, wisely too fair,  
To merit bliss by making me despair:  
She hath forsworn to love, and in that vow  
Do I live dead that live to tell it now.  
**  
BENVOLIO  
**Be ruled by me, forget to think of her.

**ROMEO **  
O, teach me how I should forget to think.

**BENVOLIO  
**By giving liberty unto thine eyes;  
Examine other beauties.

**ROMEO **  
'Tis the way  
To call hers exquisite, in question more:  
These happy masks that kiss fair ladies' brows  
Being black put us in mind they hide the fair;  
He that is strucken blind cannot forget  
The precious treasure of his eyesight lost:  
Show me a mistress that is passing fair,  
What doth her beauty serve, but as a note  
Where I may read who pass'd that passing fair?  
Farewell: thou canst not teach me to forget.

**BENVOLIO**  
I'll pay that doctrine, or else die in debt.

_Exeunt_

XxX

**Not the story I have been working on, but I had to write it :D. R&R!**


End file.
